I am back & feeling sooo much better!

Hello dear friends and followers, how I have missed this little blog of mine and all of you.  I want to thank so many people who have helped me out with inspiring messages of hope and for the cards to get well that were sent, and for all your prayers.  I have been getting better and better and I guess it was just time that would take care of me.  I started to take my medicine, talked to my doctor who increased a pill and am now back seeing my therapist on a regular basis.  I was so low there even after I left my last post that I just wanted to die. Honestly I would go to bed and write out my suicide note in my head.  My thoughts of leaving my kids like that was my reason for living.  I could never do that to them or to my family and Eric, and my friends.  So I just wanted to start out this post with the fact that I am doing soooo much better and God willing I will not feel this way again.

I am back to crafting again and I love it again! Thank God about that one.  I don't know what I would do without crafting in my life.  I told my psychiatrist that I was on the verge of selling all my supplies and even the thought of looking at a crafty item was just hard to do.  I have been creating again and getting back to my "normal" life.  I have a new card for the Hodge Podge Shop I just have to take the pictures and post.  I was asked to be on their Design Team and I had only created one card and have been on the DL until now with them.  So I want to thank my DT sisters and Shelley the owner of Hodge Podge for your patience with me getting better, you're all great and talented women and very supportive!  {Huggles} to you all!  The group PBS_Swappers is in the middle of a couple swaps now.  I have created a bookmark; my first one ever to be honest, for the Winter Themed Bookmark swap.  I have a Secret Sister on another group I belong to.  I received a card from her today along with a quote she sent to me, I plan on doing something with that quote and placing it somewhere that I will always see it.  When I get that completed I will post a picture of it.  I don't know anything about my secret pal other than I believe she is in Europe somewhere, but that is all I know.  I like the surprise part of it though.  I won't know who she is until next October!  Wow!  That's a long time to wait to find out someones identity...but I am patient.

Something else that I wanted to share was that I recently bought a new Cricut Expression which came in a WONDERFUL bundle with the Your Story.  With those two great machines came 4 cartridges for the Cricut, 10 markers for the Cricut, and 8 books with teh Your Story, 58 laminating sheets, 3 digital downloads, and geez lots more!  I am selling my Slice Machine now that I have this.  I just listed it on Craigslist tonight, wish me luck on selling it.

Well here are a couple of picks for you, the first is the card I received today from my secret pal, and then the bookmark I created.  The bookmark has cardinals on it and blue inked vellum snowflakes.

I will be posting again in a day or so with  my Hodge Podge Shop design.  So stay tuned.  Again, to everyone who talked to me, emailed me, sent cards, kept me in your prayers, etc.  I have nothing but sheer gratitude for you all.  You are all a true blessing and I am lucky to have you all in my life.

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Food?!? What's That?!?

Well as it is slowly turning into Christmas Eve/Day, I am going now for what seems like a long time on mac/cheese, instant potatoes, and instant pancakes...oh let's not forget a few rolls of TP and no kleenex to boot so my body of course decides to get sick now and I have to use the little bit of TP that's left as tissue to blow my freakin nose. :( I have never been so poor in my life than I am at this moment. I am not trying to get pity, I am venting.

I just am having hard time getting in Christmas mood when I feel like crap and would rather crawl into a hole instead of show myself in this state. I didn't go overboard on Christmas gifts for anyone this year and while in my present state of finances is a good thing, I feel bad because I usually DO go all out for everyone. I didn't even send out any cards this year, which is unlike me. Maybe I am being a Scrooge, or a Grinch...I just know that I am very unhappy this year compared to all other Christmas's past.

I'm optimistic though, so I am hoping for a better New Year!