Depression Sucks!!!

So it's 4:02 AM here in Milford, Ohio now and I have been in a major depression.  I still am in it but I am fighting light crazy to get out of it, believe me, this is no fun.  I'm sure there are some of you who can agree with me or know someone who has been here/there.  I had to totally re-think why I started crafting in the first place and it was because it was FUN.  Lately it's not been fun.  NOTHING has been fun.  The only thing that has been considered fun to me is sleep, and lots of it.  But let me back track here a minute and tell you why and how I got myself into this depressed pickle that I am in.  Oh yes, there is a reason.  It's my fault, 100% my fault.  It's called STUPIDITY, or "Christy stopped taking her medication" either one will due at this point.  I don't know if many of you know that I suffer from a major disability called schizo-affective disorder.  How I describe it is like bi-polar with bells and whistles.   It seems bi-polar is more known and talked about these days so that is why I chose to reference that particular disorder.  I really don't want to go in to all of what schizoaffective is all about, although your more than welcome to go here to learn more if you really want to.  So yea, I have been on permanent disability due to this disorder since 2001 and am on a slue of medicine and you would think that I would know by now that I cannot stop the medicine.  Unfortunately, one of the things with this is that I get to feeling "good" and think that I don't need medicine.  Which I believe is what happened here.  I stopped going to my therapist who I have been seeing for years, just quit, no reason...didn't even say anything to her at all, just stopped.  I'm still seeing my doctor though, I need to see him.  I have really screwed things up this time though I feel.  I think my kids hate me, or at least are pissed at me, why?  I don't know, I have been so distant with EVERYONE that I think they are "retaliating" back at me.  I don't know.  I mean I know they don't hate me, but I just feel the tension there between us.  Unfortunately one of the things with this disorder is paranoia and that may be what I am feeling, but it seems real.  Who knows, I certainly don't.  I am scared to death to tell my psychiatrist that I haven't been taking my pills...I don't know what he will do.  That almost scares me even more...the unknown has always scared me.

So here is my plan that I am going to try and stick to:#1TAKE PILLS EVERYDAY no matter what.  I have been picking and choosing what pills I take in the last few months and that's not good.  I haven't been taking the right ones. #2 Get up everyday and do something outside, where I live has a full free access gym, I need it, lol.  If its not the gym Eric has even suggested going to the mall and window shopping or something like that, just to get out of the apartment for a few hours a day. #3 Get back to seeing my therapist on a regular basis.

So that is my plan for my mental health that I hope to keep...no, I will keep it because I need to in order to live my life in any way shape or form.  I am a complete mess if I don't do the above.

Below are some cards that I have managed to do...

 I wanted to share with you some things that I have been doing here and there...I hope you like what you see.

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Two new Cards and some updates!!!

Good evening everyone, I wanted to share with you two new photo's of two new cards that I created today.

This is the first card I made for Eric...He'll receive it tomorrow, I hope he likes it.

This card is now on my Etsy site.  I tried a new technique in which the

card stock is woven almost like that of a basket.

I used a fairy stamp that I received from Prima and heat embossed it with

red embossing powder.  The designs surrounding the fairy are also heat

embossed but in gold.

I have been so busy lately with things that have recently changed in my life.  I don't know if you knowmy friend Sherry, a lot of you do.  She today gave me ownership of her Yahoo! group called the PBS_Swappers. I am so honored by this and look forward to the new adventures and new friends that it will lead me to.  I am very excited about this and have every intention of keeping with the same intentions that Sherry had for this group. So I have been doing a lot with that lately, which is why I haven't been blogging to much.  I am going to try and change that.

Oh, something rather big happened to me last week.  I have a Slice machine and have had it for about a year or so I guess, well I went to www.Whyslice.com to register it {finally} where they say that for registering your product will get you entered to win their monthly prize.  Yeah yeah yeah, I NEVER win anything.  So I really didn't pay much attention to it.  When last week I received an email from Making Memories informing me that I was one of the 5 monthly winners and that I will receive $100.00 worth of Making Memories product!!!  So I hesitated a minute and even emailed the woman back and had to ask if this was a joke or not, lol.  She had a Making Memories email address

and they even had my home address stating that that's where they will be sending

the prize.  So she emailed me back and said it was NOT a joke and congratulations!!!  OMG!!!  I have been stalking my mailman now for a week, lol.  I can't hardly wait until it gets here to see what they sent me.  I will post pics and a blog about it when it gets here, {which I hope is soon}.

Well, I am off to now stalk all of you...LoL! Watch for comments!  I have a lot of catching up to

do now...

                                                
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I wanted to share with you...

This is my new logo for "Christine's Handmade Creations", what do you think? I personally love it! Eric created it for me and did a superb job on it.
You'll notice that it is a ".net" rather than ".com" as was the old website. This website is not fully functional as of right now, but I am in the building process. I do hope that you will visit it when it is up and running which I will let you know A.S.A.P.!

In the meantime, I have been hard at work creating new cards and working on an "About Me" booklet that is of the fill-in-the-blank nature. This booklet is the first of many that I intend to create. I will supply photo's of what I have completed so far of the booklet soon. I promise!

As for the cards, I have learned a new technique that I had been reluctant to try. I found out however that I am falling in love with it. It is "Iris Folding" and below are a two cards that were created using this technique.

The first card shown just happens to be the first card I made "Thank You" card:

Second card is a Birthday card that I made for my brother David:

This is a Get Well card which is made from glittered textured patterned paper (a little hard to tell from the photo ~sorry about that~):

This was made for Father's Day and Eric in turn gave to his dad and it was well liked by all: I have been hard at work with Eric's continuous help in organizing all my supplies and planning my work for creating original and beautiful cards for all. I want to thank those who have been patient with me as well as supportive while I have been in this stage of the business. I have found a new love in my life (yes Eric is the my love) but as far as work, I truly enjoy this and love to wake up everyday and begin a new project. To see the end result brings such satisfaction to me that words cannot truly express how I feel.

So please stop by often as I will be posting weekly (if not daily) progress of what is going on with CHC (Christine's Handmade Creations).